What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

My boyfriend always verbally abuse me and makes me cry. If I try to tell him how hurt I was, he says to me he loves me and can't hurt me but always abuse me. Why?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Trump is going to target known criminals in the country illegally for deportation. The Democrats have vowed to fight him every step of the way. Don't they understand this is one of the issues that cost them the white house, the house and senate?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why do women have sex with dogs?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

True - how I loved my mum!

What do you mean son?

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Do you know what she said mum?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Why do so many guys love anime girls?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?